Well first off , considering the fact that the name of my article last week (week 12 ) was "NFL week 13 WTWF", it seemed only fair that I write an article that ACTUALLY had something to do with week 13.
Anyway the big Monday Night Game is over and so is week 13 so lets have a look at where we all stand shall we. I'll start with the AFC.
The Sunday Night-Monday Night schedule must have made his highness the almighty "Commishioner Goodel" and the powers that be froth at the mouth to say the least. Any time you can have the four best teams in a conference play each other on back to back nights it's a big win for the League. Pittsburgh and Baltimore did what they do (kinda) in a dirty little northern division game between 8-3 teams that both thrive on pissing off the commish with their bone jarring hits. And the East division featured it's top two teams battling it out on Monday night.
The Patriots (9-2) absolutely took the Jets (9-2) apart. It was one of the soundest thrashings I have ever seen. For all the smack the Jets talk, and for all the young guys on the Patriot's team, Tom Brady went 21 of 29 for 326 yards with 4 TD's and no picks. Mark Sanchez threw 3 picks and the Pats went on to win 45-3. WOW !
Now as entertaining as those two games were , in effect it was really only a battle for positioning in the playoffs. All 4 teams are basically already in. The two winners, Pitt and New England moved into 1st place , but the two losers still are clearly the AFC front runners for the wild card spots. What should be more important are the other two divisions and their ramifications.
The Chiefs and Jaguars held serve while the Chargers and Colts both lost to inferior teams. Or so we thought. The Colt's loss to the Cowboys has left them on the brink of missing the playoffs, (as I noted recently) like wise the Charger's loss to the Raiders leaves them 2 games back of the Chiefs. Neither one of these teams can hope to get a wild card spot so both need to find a way to win their respective divisions. It's still do-able for both as the Colts have 3 of their last 4 games versus division opponents (1 vs Jacksonville) and the Chargers have 4 winnable games left.
But let me say this about the AFC West , you may not have noticed but the Oakland Raiders are 4-0 in the division , if they somehow catch the Chiefs , and they would have to beat the Broncos and the Chiefs in December , they would hold all the tie breakers by way of that division record. I'm just saying. Check out the AFC playoff scenario with 4 weeks left.
NE------------10-2
PITT----------9-3
KC------------8-4
JACK----------7-5
JETS----------9-3
BALT----------8-4
COLTS---------6-6
RAID----------6-6
SD------------6-6
MIA-----------6-6
ON TO THE NFC
Truth ? This is getting a little weird. Not only are the Falcons and Bears the 1-2 seeds right now, but it's becoming more and more apparent that a team with a really good record is going to left out of the dance by way of the fact that the winner in the West is guaranteed a spot. Much like the winner of the Big East getting a BCS game by default, someone has to win the West in t he NFC. Here is what I mean.
In the NFC, there are currently 6 teams with 8 or more wins and one with 7. None of them reside in the West. No , I'm afraid that the West is currently deadlocked with two 6-6 teams (STL and SEA) fighting for the backdoor into the playoffs. Not to mention a first round home game.
The top two teams in all four NFC divisions won this week.
Eagles,Giants,Bears,Packers,Falcons,Saints,Rams and Seahawks all won this week by varying degrees. The lone exception on this list of playoff worthy teams in the NFC was Tampa Bay. Who lost to Falcons (no shame there) and are still 7-5. But the sad fact of it all is that someone will win the West and take a spot from a more deserving team. And it IS entirely possible that the winner of the West could finish 7-9. Hell, it's conceivable that it could be 6-10. Mathematically only , but still.
Even without that anomaly somebody would still be left out , but because of the West it will be two good teams watching from home this year. Just look at this madness.
Division winners
ATL-------------10-2
CHI-------------9-3
PHILI-----------8-4
STL-------------6-6
WILD CARDERS
NO--------------9-3
GIA-------------8-4
HOPEFULLS
GB--------------8-4
TB--------------7-5
SEA-------------6-6
Green Bay and Tampa could very well be left out , but considering the schedules of all these teams so could the Bears,Eagles, or the Saints. Actually almost anyone BUT the Falcons is at risk the way the schedule ends up this year in the NFC. I rarely give props to the NFL's schedule makers but look at this stupidity. If you like big games , then you will love how the NFC ends this year.
ATL--------------@ CAR, @ SEA, NO , CAR
CHI--------------NE, @ MINN, JETS, @ GB
PHI--------------@ DAL, @ GIA, MINN, DAL
NO---------------STL, @ BALT, @ ATL, TB
GIA--------------@ MINN, PHI, @ GB, @ WASH
GB---------------@ DET, @ NE, GIA, CHI
TB---------------@ WASH, DET, SEA, @ NO
I mean COME ON ! Every single game will be do-or-die! Any one of these teams (good as they are) could loose 3 of 4 easy. This is gonna be the best December in recent history for the NFC.
I've been hearing the word "parody" used to describe the NFL a lot in recent years,I hate that. I've always called it competition. If you don't like this , then you don't like football. Parody , ya right, it's a league full of studs that creates an environment of winners by small margins. Any team can change it's fortunes in a few short years with the right game plan and a little luck.
Don't believe me Buffalo ? Well consider that the Raiders haven't swept the Chargers since 2001. Look closer at the 5-7 Browns. For heaven's sake just draft a freakin Quarterback for once ! You might find that the forward pass is a good thing.
It's the way it should be folks, if your team stinks, just remember that they are not that far away from going 10-6.
POTENTIALLY.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Friday Night 3 Spot of Strange
Dateline - Toronto , Canada
In yet another clear example of Canadian little brother syndrome towards the United States the bench mark for library slayings has been officially raised.
Twenty Four year old Toronto resident Zhou Fang was charged with First degree murder today in the Thursday afternoon crossbowing of fifty four year old Si Cheng in the Toronto Public Library. The fiction or non-fiction section of the library was not specified. It was however determined that Cheng, despite the different last name, was indeed the assailant's father. About an hour after a nearby school let out for the day it seems that Mr. Fang fatally shot his father (Chang) in the back with a crossbow. Yes I said cross-bow. When Toronto police Constable Tonny Vella was questioned about the incident he had this to say. " The use of a crossbow is definitely a unique case in Toronto."
Indeed sir. The problem of course, beside the the whole - some guy just shot an arrow into his father's back in a crowded library thing - is that it's not entirely true. It's actually the third crossbow-v-human incident in Canada ( THAT WE KNOW OF ) since 1991. Read the full article here.
The second problem is this , crossbows are not banned within city limits in Toronto apparently. In fact the Royal Canadian Mounted Police report that the only crossbows that are banned are those that can be fired with one hand or are less than 19 inches long. That's 50 centimeters for you metric weirdos. Now I'm all for the right to bear arms and all, but if a man can walk into a library with a crossbow and shoot his old man down in cold blood before anyone can react then I'm afraid you need to work on some things Canada.
Dateline - California , USA
After a classified and unmanned 7 month mission to ............ space I guess, the US Air Force's X-37B returned to Earth by way of the Vandenberg Air Force Base. Little is known about the purpose of this craft or it's mission. Also referred as the Orbital Test Vehicle, (nice) the Boeing built spacecraft was originally a project of NASA before being taken over by the military. ( again, nice) The supposed purpose of this craft has been described ( by military yes men ) as nothing more than a test craft working on such innocent things as navigation, control, thermal protection and various other science-like words that mean nothing. If it were me I'd have been looking for the 5th element.
Now I've only been an astronaut like 3 or 4 times , mostly for the Mongolian yak-to-space initiative, but if there is one thing I know about space travel it's this- you can't get anywhere in 7 months except the moon. If that. So what was the real purpose of this mission I ask you ? Were they looking for a suitable hookah lounge for the first Space Elevator ride ? Did some rich celebrity need a refill of "space dust" for the bi weekly Country Music Awards ? Or was it simply the US government reaching out to the Muslim community by wasting taxpayer dollars in space ? Cuz that makes sense.
Personally, I think it was a Victoria's Secret funded program to test the zero gravity effects on the new line of whatever hotness they have devised to replace yesterday's hotness. Remember , just because it was an "unmanned" mission, it doesn't mean that it was under wire free. OR DOES IT ????????
DATELINE - Glasgow , Montana
Any 2012 doomsday people out there? Any end of the world conspiracy theorists? Mayan calender subscribers? It's getting closer and closer you know. Well you may not be a believer but I'm willing to bet that Montana electrician Sean Heavey is starting to think about things. Especially after taking a few outstanding pics like this just West of Glasgow , Montana in July.
In yet another clear example of Canadian little brother syndrome towards the United States the bench mark for library slayings has been officially raised.
Twenty Four year old Toronto resident Zhou Fang was charged with First degree murder today in the Thursday afternoon crossbowing of fifty four year old Si Cheng in the Toronto Public Library. The fiction or non-fiction section of the library was not specified. It was however determined that Cheng, despite the different last name, was indeed the assailant's father. About an hour after a nearby school let out for the day it seems that Mr. Fang fatally shot his father (Chang) in the back with a crossbow. Yes I said cross-bow. When Toronto police Constable Tonny Vella was questioned about the incident he had this to say. " The use of a crossbow is definitely a unique case in Toronto."
Canadians usually fight with these
Indeed sir. The problem of course, beside the the whole - some guy just shot an arrow into his father's back in a crowded library thing - is that it's not entirely true. It's actually the third crossbow-v-human incident in Canada ( THAT WE KNOW OF ) since 1991. Read the full article here.
The second problem is this , crossbows are not banned within city limits in Toronto apparently. In fact the Royal Canadian Mounted Police report that the only crossbows that are banned are those that can be fired with one hand or are less than 19 inches long. That's 50 centimeters for you metric weirdos. Now I'm all for the right to bear arms and all, but if a man can walk into a library with a crossbow and shoot his old man down in cold blood before anyone can react then I'm afraid you need to work on some things Canada.
Dateline - California , USA
After a classified and unmanned 7 month mission to ............ space I guess, the US Air Force's X-37B returned to Earth by way of the Vandenberg Air Force Base. Little is known about the purpose of this craft or it's mission. Also referred as the Orbital Test Vehicle, (nice) the Boeing built spacecraft was originally a project of NASA before being taken over by the military. ( again, nice) The supposed purpose of this craft has been described ( by military yes men ) as nothing more than a test craft working on such innocent things as navigation, control, thermal protection and various other science-like words that mean nothing. If it were me I'd have been looking for the 5th element.
and why the heck not ?
Now I've only been an astronaut like 3 or 4 times , mostly for the Mongolian yak-to-space initiative, but if there is one thing I know about space travel it's this- you can't get anywhere in 7 months except the moon. If that. So what was the real purpose of this mission I ask you ? Were they looking for a suitable hookah lounge for the first Space Elevator ride ? Did some rich celebrity need a refill of "space dust" for the bi weekly Country Music Awards ? Or was it simply the US government reaching out to the Muslim community by wasting taxpayer dollars in space ? Cuz that makes sense.
Personally, I think it was a Victoria's Secret funded program to test the zero gravity effects on the new line of whatever hotness they have devised to replace yesterday's hotness. Remember , just because it was an "unmanned" mission, it doesn't mean that it was under wire free. OR DOES IT ????????
DATELINE - Glasgow , Montana
Any 2012 doomsday people out there? Any end of the world conspiracy theorists? Mayan calender subscribers? It's getting closer and closer you know. Well you may not be a believer but I'm willing to bet that Montana electrician Sean Heavey is starting to think about things. Especially after taking a few outstanding pics like this just West of Glasgow , Montana in July.
did anyone else just shart themselves ?
What the ......? Holy shit-zakie in the sky Batman !!!! Is this for real? The short answer is yes. That photo is actually stitched together from the 3 pics ( 3 PICS ! ) it took for Mr. Heavey to encompass the entirety of this GOD HATES YOU display. The term "Super Cell" doesn't even do this justice. Known as the mother of all tornadoes the Mesocyclone can be up to 6 miles wide and can produce as many as 60 independent tornadoes. If you look really close , you can see all 4 horseman of the apocalypse. Good heavens ( no pun intended ) ( ok , pun intended ) as a former truck driver I've spent many a long hour on the road praying for this kind of sight.
But after seeing this , I'm glad I was asleep at he wheel more often then not. I mean yikes ! That looks dangerous!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Black Friday...Day of the Dingus
BLACK FRIDAY ! dun , dun , dun ...... It's come and gone again, the day when normal minded people loose all sensibility and camp out in alleyways to be the first in a long line of morons.
First of all, anyone in retail will tell you that Black Friday ( while huge ) is not the biggest day of the year in sales. In fact it's not even in the top three for most establishments. No , the three biggest days in retail are actually Christmas Eve, the day before and the day before that.. If Christmas day happens to fall on a Sunday then it's a lock. Sure the big companies put out some big sales on Black Friday but it's all a sham. A sham that apparently runs like clockwork every single year.
If you own a retail store ( especially in a mall ) then you know what is going on. You just wrote a check that is sure to bounce unless you can blow through a shit load of product between Black Friday and Christmas Eve. You've waited all year to do this. Ten and a half months of breaking even at best has left you suicidal and praying that the American economy bounces back this year. You already know that you will make 30 to 50 percent of your yearly sales in the 5 "big weeks" leading up to Christmas. You are trying to maximise your sales potential and you've bought way to much inventory. If you planed your deliveries right then you have it all in your shop right around November 10th.
Now you wait, and stress. Faced with bills that exceed your mental capability to rationalize you take stock of your ...............stock. You've got way to much , if you don't sell a certain portion of it your screwed. Big bills, no money , and way too much inventory. A company can not profit in this way. What's the answer ? Black Friday .
Put it on sale ! Drop the price ! I'll make up my margin by selling more units !
It's actually a good little plan. Why ? Because you know that the American consumer is a highly stressed out individual who is desperate to give you their hard earned money. You KNOW that every American is so brainwashed to the giving side of the holidays that they will break the bank for Christmas even if the bank has already broken them.
You KNOW that the majority of the people that come in to your store are on the verge of destitution. You KNOW that most people will fore go bills,braces for the kids,car payments,house payments,liens,court fees, and just about any other form of debt so long as they can produce a "good" Christmas for their loved ones. Americans will do anything and everything to that end. Hell , even people who have no money at all will open credit cards with the sole desire to succeed at the holidays.
I don't blame you store owner, if there is money to be made then go make it. It's not your fault that the American public is so brainwashed that they can't help but to freak out during the holidays. So much so that they don't mind stepping on a fellow human to arrive at the Target sale 5 seconds earlier than the next guy.
http://www.wivb.com/dpp/news/buffalo/Crazed-shoppers-pile-up-at-Target
I also don't blame those of you who enjoy Black Friday ( or any other sale ) correctly. Hell , I remember the Kmart special. I remember hanging with Moms and Aunt Patty at Kmart till all hours of the night just so they could get the midnight specials on gifts. Not to mention the once a year joy of all 3 of us kids sleeping the night away, worn out from 6 hours of isle 7 hockey. Complete with plastic bats and the plastic fruits from the 3 dollar door wreaths.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit a piece of plastic the size of a marble with a stolen wiffle ball bat ? It's hard yo !
So for those of you who don't freak out about your place in line and just go shopping , I salute you. At least you didn't end up like this.
Packing heat I mean.
or like this ..................
First of all, anyone in retail will tell you that Black Friday ( while huge ) is not the biggest day of the year in sales. In fact it's not even in the top three for most establishments. No , the three biggest days in retail are actually Christmas Eve, the day before and the day before that.. If Christmas day happens to fall on a Sunday then it's a lock. Sure the big companies put out some big sales on Black Friday but it's all a sham. A sham that apparently runs like clockwork every single year.
If you own a retail store ( especially in a mall ) then you know what is going on. You just wrote a check that is sure to bounce unless you can blow through a shit load of product between Black Friday and Christmas Eve. You've waited all year to do this. Ten and a half months of breaking even at best has left you suicidal and praying that the American economy bounces back this year. You already know that you will make 30 to 50 percent of your yearly sales in the 5 "big weeks" leading up to Christmas. You are trying to maximise your sales potential and you've bought way to much inventory. If you planed your deliveries right then you have it all in your shop right around November 10th.
Now you wait, and stress. Faced with bills that exceed your mental capability to rationalize you take stock of your ...............stock. You've got way to much , if you don't sell a certain portion of it your screwed. Big bills, no money , and way too much inventory. A company can not profit in this way. What's the answer ? Black Friday .
Put it on sale ! Drop the price ! I'll make up my margin by selling more units !
It's actually a good little plan. Why ? Because you know that the American consumer is a highly stressed out individual who is desperate to give you their hard earned money. You KNOW that every American is so brainwashed to the giving side of the holidays that they will break the bank for Christmas even if the bank has already broken them.
You KNOW that the majority of the people that come in to your store are on the verge of destitution. You KNOW that most people will fore go bills,braces for the kids,car payments,house payments,liens,court fees, and just about any other form of debt so long as they can produce a "good" Christmas for their loved ones. Americans will do anything and everything to that end. Hell , even people who have no money at all will open credit cards with the sole desire to succeed at the holidays.
I don't blame you store owner, if there is money to be made then go make it. It's not your fault that the American public is so brainwashed that they can't help but to freak out during the holidays. So much so that they don't mind stepping on a fellow human to arrive at the Target sale 5 seconds earlier than the next guy.
http://www.wivb.com/dpp/news/buffalo/Crazed-shoppers-pile-up-at-Target
I also don't blame those of you who enjoy Black Friday ( or any other sale ) correctly. Hell , I remember the Kmart special. I remember hanging with Moms and Aunt Patty at Kmart till all hours of the night just so they could get the midnight specials on gifts. Not to mention the once a year joy of all 3 of us kids sleeping the night away, worn out from 6 hours of isle 7 hockey. Complete with plastic bats and the plastic fruits from the 3 dollar door wreaths.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit a piece of plastic the size of a marble with a stolen wiffle ball bat ? It's hard yo !
So for those of you who don't freak out about your place in line and just go shopping , I salute you. At least you didn't end up like this.
Packing heat I mean.
or like this ..................
OMG i hope the cart is waiting !
Now don't get me wrong people. I love Christmas, I always have. I love the giving , the receiving, the bows , and most importantly the fact that it brings families together. When a child who still believes in Santa first sees the stash under the tree it's magical. It's the best thing on earth. But I'm afraid that that phenomenon has been destroyed by the multitude who feel the need to keep up with the Kardashians.
Need proof ? Here ya go .
NFL WEEK 12 - WTWF
There are big games a plenty in the NFL this week, but the one I'm watching may surprise you.
Thanksgiving football was watchable this year for once. The Patriots and Jets both held serve against weaker ( but game ) teams to improve their records to 9-2 setting up a blockbuster match up next Monday night. Keep in mind that the Jets already beat the Pats in week 2 and another victory would essentially put them up 2 full games in the AFC East and give them the front running spot for the number one seed in the AFC this year.
In the NFC the good but not quite as impressive as last year New Orleans Saints escaped a resurgent Dallas team to improve to 8-3 on the year. Good thing too as they are locked in what is arguably the toughest division battle in football. The upstart Tampa Bay Bucs are 7-3 going into a huge game against Ray Lewis and the Ravens (also 7-3) in Baltimore. Winners of two straight the Bucs could go to 8-3 as well and with 2 division games left could make the playoff chase more than a little interesting. Not to mention the NFC South !
On top of that the first place Atlanta Falcons (8-2) have a chance to keep a one game lead on both this week. But only if they can beat the tied for 1st place in the North Green Bay Packers who have now won 4 straight despite a plethora of injuries. So what is essentially a battle of first place teams in the NFC (Pack 7-3 vs Atl 8-2) should prove to be a good one.
Speaking of the NFC, we also have another first place game ( due to the tie in the North ) the super hero esque, Michael Vick led Eagles stroll into Chicago to face the 7-3 Bears. Another potential blockbuster. And if the Giants beat the Jaguars it will only serve to further the gridlock at the top of the NFC. All of those games have huge implications of course but none of them involve the team with the most to loose this week. But first let's recap the big games of week # 13 so far.
Pats,Jets,and Saints win to improve to 9-2,9-2,and 8-3 respectively.
7-3 Packers go to 8-2 Falcons
7-3 Eagles go to 7-3 Bears
7-3 Bucs go to 7-3 Ravens
and if you are a fan of the AFC ( west in particular) 6-4 Kansas City goes to 5-5 Seattle and 5-5 Miami goes to 5-5 Oakland.
Boy this is great right ? Of course it is , but there is one more game to discuss. The most important of the week in my estimation. The Sunday night game. Winners of 3 straight, notorious late starters, and bona fied Colt crushers take their 5-5 record into Indianapolis to face the 6-4 Colts who are more than a little depleted with injuries. The same could also be said for the Chargers though.
Now we all know that the Chargers and Colts have had some epic games over the last ten years. If not for the whole Pats v Colts rivalry this may be the most exiting AFC match up around. The Chargers always seem to have a little something extra for the Colts no matter what the situation. The Chargers may start slow every year but one thing is for sure , Phillip Rivers will have those boys primed and ready come the post season. As for the Colts, they usually start fast and continue that right on in to the post season. But this year is different.
Has anyone realised that if the playoffs started last week that the Colts would have been left out ? Oh yeah , believe it or not the Jags have them beat on the Division record tie breaker right now. They are only 6-5 ! When was the last time the Peyton Manning Colts lost 5 games before December , or in a season you ask ? Well it was in 2002 when they 10-6 and lost in the wild card to the Jets.
As I said earlier the Jets and Pats have already moved to 9-2 in the East. The Steelers ( who look great right now ) and Ravens are both 7-3 and both have games they should win this week. The 6-4 Chiefs look like they are for real this year and the Chargers (5-5) are coming on strong at the right time. The four teams in their own division are only separated by 2 games and the bottom two are Tennessee and Houston ! The Jags are actually above them based on tie breakers.
If the Colts loose to San Diego tomorrow it will leave them at 6-5 with a 1-2 division record and a 4-4 conference record. They could still be tied for the division lead if Jacksonville looses to the Giants but those are not good numbers for a team trying to make the playoffs.
The bright side for Colts fan is this. The Colts remaining games after San Diego tomorrow are Dallas , at the Titans , Jacksonville , at the Raiders and the Titans at home to finish it off. Now those are all games that the Colts could,should, and probably will win. But if they loose to San Diego this week ( and I think they will ) that leaves them at 6-5 with the rejuvenated Cowboys , a freaky weird Raider team , Maurice Jones Drew and Chris Johnson twice , left on the schedule.
Moral of the story ? The Indianapolis Colts had better bring their A game the rest of the year. Because if they drop one or two and don't win the South, they may not make the playoffs at all.
Thanksgiving football was watchable this year for once. The Patriots and Jets both held serve against weaker ( but game ) teams to improve their records to 9-2 setting up a blockbuster match up next Monday night. Keep in mind that the Jets already beat the Pats in week 2 and another victory would essentially put them up 2 full games in the AFC East and give them the front running spot for the number one seed in the AFC this year.
In the NFC the good but not quite as impressive as last year New Orleans Saints escaped a resurgent Dallas team to improve to 8-3 on the year. Good thing too as they are locked in what is arguably the toughest division battle in football. The upstart Tampa Bay Bucs are 7-3 going into a huge game against Ray Lewis and the Ravens (also 7-3) in Baltimore. Winners of two straight the Bucs could go to 8-3 as well and with 2 division games left could make the playoff chase more than a little interesting. Not to mention the NFC South !
On top of that the first place Atlanta Falcons (8-2) have a chance to keep a one game lead on both this week. But only if they can beat the tied for 1st place in the North Green Bay Packers who have now won 4 straight despite a plethora of injuries. So what is essentially a battle of first place teams in the NFC (Pack 7-3 vs Atl 8-2) should prove to be a good one.
Speaking of the NFC, we also have another first place game ( due to the tie in the North ) the super hero esque, Michael Vick led Eagles stroll into Chicago to face the 7-3 Bears. Another potential blockbuster. And if the Giants beat the Jaguars it will only serve to further the gridlock at the top of the NFC. All of those games have huge implications of course but none of them involve the team with the most to loose this week. But first let's recap the big games of week # 13 so far.
Pats,Jets,and Saints win to improve to 9-2,9-2,and 8-3 respectively.
7-3 Packers go to 8-2 Falcons
7-3 Eagles go to 7-3 Bears
7-3 Bucs go to 7-3 Ravens
and if you are a fan of the AFC ( west in particular) 6-4 Kansas City goes to 5-5 Seattle and 5-5 Miami goes to 5-5 Oakland.
Boy this is great right ? Of course it is , but there is one more game to discuss. The most important of the week in my estimation. The Sunday night game. Winners of 3 straight, notorious late starters, and bona fied Colt crushers take their 5-5 record into Indianapolis to face the 6-4 Colts who are more than a little depleted with injuries. The same could also be said for the Chargers though.
Now we all know that the Chargers and Colts have had some epic games over the last ten years. If not for the whole Pats v Colts rivalry this may be the most exiting AFC match up around. The Chargers always seem to have a little something extra for the Colts no matter what the situation. The Chargers may start slow every year but one thing is for sure , Phillip Rivers will have those boys primed and ready come the post season. As for the Colts, they usually start fast and continue that right on in to the post season. But this year is different.
Has anyone realised that if the playoffs started last week that the Colts would have been left out ? Oh yeah , believe it or not the Jags have them beat on the Division record tie breaker right now. They are only 6-5 ! When was the last time the Peyton Manning Colts lost 5 games before December , or in a season you ask ? Well it was in 2002 when they 10-6 and lost in the wild card to the Jets.
As I said earlier the Jets and Pats have already moved to 9-2 in the East. The Steelers ( who look great right now ) and Ravens are both 7-3 and both have games they should win this week. The 6-4 Chiefs look like they are for real this year and the Chargers (5-5) are coming on strong at the right time. The four teams in their own division are only separated by 2 games and the bottom two are Tennessee and Houston ! The Jags are actually above them based on tie breakers.
If the Colts loose to San Diego tomorrow it will leave them at 6-5 with a 1-2 division record and a 4-4 conference record. They could still be tied for the division lead if Jacksonville looses to the Giants but those are not good numbers for a team trying to make the playoffs.
The bright side for Colts fan is this. The Colts remaining games after San Diego tomorrow are Dallas , at the Titans , Jacksonville , at the Raiders and the Titans at home to finish it off. Now those are all games that the Colts could,should, and probably will win. But if they loose to San Diego this week ( and I think they will ) that leaves them at 6-5 with the rejuvenated Cowboys , a freaky weird Raider team , Maurice Jones Drew and Chris Johnson twice , left on the schedule.
Moral of the story ? The Indianapolis Colts had better bring their A game the rest of the year. Because if they drop one or two and don't win the South, they may not make the playoffs at all.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Pirate of The Caribbean you aint.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Ah yes the human spirit. . The unbeatable giant that rests deep within us all. Some deeper than others of course, but it's there just the same in each and every one of us.
We hear about it all the time. Even with all the horrible tragedies and murder suicides that seem to plague the news rolls daily. Despite all the political scandals and stories about animal cruelty, you can't watch the news long before you get that one heartwarming story of human triumph to even things out for you. The real feel good stories. You know the ones , the stories that are almost too outrageous to be true, but sure enough there it is on tape lifting your spirits and making want to be a better person.
Like when that guy sawed off his own arm to free himself of a fallen boulder. Or when that 11 year old girl got trapped in a flash flood and subsequently got sucked down a storm drain. Only to emerge three blocks away completely among the living. Or the time Sandra Bullock dyed her hair and set out to rescue an innocent giganto from the mean streets Memphis and turn him into a football star. Yeah , and the best part is that all those wonderful stories are completely 100% true!
Sadly , so is this one.
We hear about it all the time. Even with all the horrible tragedies and murder suicides that seem to plague the news rolls daily. Despite all the political scandals and stories about animal cruelty, you can't watch the news long before you get that one heartwarming story of human triumph to even things out for you. The real feel good stories. You know the ones , the stories that are almost too outrageous to be true, but sure enough there it is on tape lifting your spirits and making want to be a better person.
Like when that guy sawed off his own arm to free himself of a fallen boulder. Or when that 11 year old girl got trapped in a flash flood and subsequently got sucked down a storm drain. Only to emerge three blocks away completely among the living. Or the time Sandra Bullock dyed her hair and set out to rescue an innocent giganto from the mean streets Memphis and turn him into a football star. Yeah , and the best part is that all those wonderful stories are completely 100% true!
Sadly , so is this one.
Man stuck on island for five days had cell phone
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Tracy Morgan ...Straight up Wacky
If any of you out there are too uptight and square or just flat out can't stand Saturday Night Live. Or stand up comedy at all for that matter. It's possible that you may not be aware of one Tracy Jamal Morgan, I guess. He was on SNL for years and is a pretty prominent character on the hit show 30 Rock. Hell he even did some decent stand up from time to time back in the day. But for the most part Tracy Morgan is best known for saying completely off the wall shit at the most unusual times and looking like this .
go get em T.
At any rate I've always found the man's sheer ridiculousness to be absolutely hysterical. So of course as the high quality journalist and gold chain model that I am, I decided to call in some favors and get myself an interview.
Sadly it turns out that all my best connections combined were only big time enough to get me a 10 minute google chat with Tracy. Not even a Skype session, damn. After voicing my displeasure with this Tracy's people assured me (between chuckles) that I would indeed get ten minutes time with the real Tracy Morgan. There was only one catch they said. Tracy had decided that he would only speak to me by way of re tweeting his own tweets.
I was disappointed at first but then I thought , ok screw it , if that's how they want to be. Tracy Morgan's old shit is still better than most celebrities live shit so to hell with it, I agreed to the chat.
So without further delays I welcome you all to sit back and enjoy my interview with Tracy Morgan. Or his Twitter feed, or whatevs.
Pedro Gorinni VSTracy Morgan
PEDRO - "Ok I'm in the chat room now , Tracy can you see me ?"
TRACY - The wait is over! The black Svengali has arrived! I'm on the street turning good girls bad and getting them pregnant!!!
PEDRO - "I see, how's the family?"
TRACY - World Be Free. Oh Yeah, Evil Knievel's my biological father.
TRACY - I'm doing stand up this Friday at Carnegie Hall. Come check me out...I'm going raw dog on this one.
PEDRO - "You know what , I think I've had enough bro , thanks for hanging wi--"
TRACY - having a cheeseburger delux and diet coke at 9am - breakfast of champions
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Welcome to Shameless O' Blogahanns
Welcome readers to the all new Shameless O' Blogahanns blog spot. I'll be your host Shameless O' Blogahann as we attempt to bring you a wide variety of barely literate satire here at O' Blogahanns.
First things first , I am already sick of typing the name and O' Blogahann and I am seriously thinking that this whole thing is a bad idea.
First things first , I am already sick of typing the name and O' Blogahann and I am seriously thinking that this whole thing is a bad idea.
At any rate when I said "we" earlier I meant it. There is simply too much going on in the world today for a simple Irish Hooligan Wannabe like myself to possibly cover it all. Even my enormous brain can't comprehend the sheer vastness of stupidity that permeates our world these days. So I enlisted a little help. Some real go getters who have their snot covered fingers directly placed on the pulse of modern America. At least I hope so anyway.
For myself , I plan to blog about whatever the hell I want. It's my page and you can't take it from me. So there. In addition to my views I have enlisted the services of "The Big Ragu" author of "The Ragu Rewind" to handle all things sports and entertainment related. Sir Ragu will keep you up to date on recent sporting news (minus soccer of course) as well as writing whatever the hell HE wants. There might even be some movie reviews mixed in. He has his own ranking scale you know. Though I can't say what decade of film he may review at any given time. So with that said I'd like to introduce our sports and entertainment analyst and totally legitimate playboy .....THE BIG RAGU !!
not pictured--peter mcgarry
In addition to all of that I felt that it would be just plain moronic not to include at least a few political opinion columns here at O' Blogahanns (ugh) after all, some of our readers could be smart. Hey! It could happen. So for all the big dealings in Washington and all the news regarding the leaders and governments in our world today. Not to mention what ever the hell HE feels like writing. I hired long time (short time) political dingusoid and author of the "Hapa-Blap" one Mr. Jorge "Hap" Hapablap.
So lets all give a big round of applause for the one time journalist of the day , (not a thing) , political hardballer (not true) and self proclaimed "fantaismo" (not even a real word) Mr. Jorge "Hap" Hapablap !
not pictured--peter mcgarry
Last but not least I felt we had to have a real man of the streets. Someone who could separate the Hollywood from the Dollywood from the Morningwood. The kind of no nonsense reporter that refuses to fold in the face of main stream media. This is the man who will keep you up to date on the REAL stories of the day.
That's right, you got it, celebrity drunkenness. He's not the nicest man. In fact I'm not entirely certain he's not hiding your closet right now. Yet I am certain that in the coming months you will find that Pedro Gorinni, author of the hit blog "Skepticular Cancer-Plagiarising you daily" (zero posts as of this time) will be second to none (all) when rehashing the gritty,grimy,celebrity news of the day.
Also, whatever the hell HE feels like writing. So let me introduce the final member and key cog in our stupidity machine, Mr. Pedro Gorinni!
not pictured--peter mcgarry
Hey did anyone else notice that all these guys got the " whatever the hell they want" disclaimer ?
Ya well I won't lie to you. (again :] ) All three of these guys are certifiable maniacs, they busted into my office this morning demanding something they called "brain space on the word-mo-trons." I was about to kick them out when all three simultaneously raised large hunting knives to what I assumed was the throats of three hard boiled eggs complete with magic marker eyes and toothpick dongs.
Let me tell you people when see a thing like that, you surrender.
Anyway , look forward to this all new word-mo-tron production. Should be interesting at the least.
I am Shameless O' Blogahann and this is my new blog....I guess.
not pictured--peter mcgarry
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