Friday, December 3, 2010

Friday Night 3 Spot of Strange

Dateline - Toronto , Canada

In yet another clear example of Canadian little brother syndrome towards the United States the bench mark for library slayings has been officially raised.

Twenty Four year old Toronto resident Zhou Fang was charged with First degree murder today in the Thursday afternoon crossbowing of fifty four year old Si Cheng in the Toronto Public Library. The fiction or non-fiction section of the library was not specified. It was however determined that Cheng, despite the different last name, was indeed the assailant's father. About an hour after a nearby school let out for the day it seems that Mr. Fang fatally shot his father (Chang) in the back with a crossbow. Yes I said cross-bow. When Toronto police Constable Tonny Vella was questioned about the incident he had this to say. " The use of a crossbow is definitely a unique case in Toronto."


Canadians usually fight with these



Indeed sir. The problem of course, beside the the whole - some guy just shot an arrow into his father's back in a crowded library thing - is that it's not entirely true. It's actually the third crossbow-v-human incident in Canada ( THAT WE KNOW OF ) since 1991. Read the full article here.

The second problem is this , crossbows are not banned within city limits in Toronto apparently. In fact the Royal Canadian Mounted Police report that the only crossbows that are banned are those that can be fired with one hand or are less than 19 inches long. That's 50 centimeters for you metric weirdos.  Now I'm all for the right to bear arms and all, but if a man can walk into a library with a crossbow and shoot his old man down in cold blood before anyone can react then I'm afraid you need to work on some things Canada.


Dateline - California , USA

After a classified and unmanned 7 month mission to ............ space I guess, the US Air Force's X-37B returned to Earth by way of the Vandenberg Air Force Base. Little is known about the purpose of this craft or it's mission. Also referred as the Orbital Test Vehicle, (nice) the Boeing built spacecraft was originally a project of NASA before being taken over by the military. ( again, nice) The supposed purpose of this craft has been described ( by military yes men ) as nothing more than a test craft working on such innocent things as navigation, control, thermal protection and various other science-like words that mean nothing. If it were me I'd have been looking for the 5th element.

and why the heck not ?  

Now I've only been an astronaut like 3 or 4 times , mostly for the Mongolian yak-to-space initiative, but if there is one thing I know about space travel it's this- you can't get anywhere in 7 months except the moon. If that. So what was the real purpose of this mission I ask you ? Were they looking for a suitable hookah lounge for the first Space Elevator ride ? Did some rich celebrity need a refill of "space dust" for the bi weekly Country Music Awards ? Or was it simply the US government reaching out to the Muslim community by wasting taxpayer dollars in space ?  Cuz that makes sense.

Personally, I think it was a Victoria's Secret funded program to test the zero gravity effects on the new line of whatever hotness they have devised to replace yesterday's hotness. Remember , just because it was an "unmanned" mission, it doesn't mean that it was under wire free. OR DOES IT ????????

DATELINE - Glasgow , Montana

Any 2012 doomsday people out there? Any end of the world conspiracy theorists? Mayan calender subscribers? It's getting closer and closer you know. Well you may not be a believer but I'm willing to bet that Montana electrician Sean Heavey is starting to think about things. Especially after taking a few outstanding pics like this just West of Glasgow , Montana in July.


did anyone else just shart themselves ?

What the ......? Holy shit-zakie in the sky Batman !!!! Is this for real? The short answer is yes. That photo is actually stitched together from the 3 pics ( 3 PICS ! ) it took for Mr. Heavey to encompass the entirety of this GOD HATES YOU display. The term "Super Cell" doesn't even do this justice. Known as the mother of all tornadoes the Mesocyclone can be up to 6 miles wide and can produce as many as 60 independent tornadoes. If you look really close , you can see all 4 horseman of the apocalypse. Good heavens ( no pun intended ) ( ok , pun intended ) as a former truck driver I've spent many a long hour on the road praying for this kind of sight. 

But after seeing this , I'm glad I was asleep at he wheel more often then not. I mean yikes ! That looks dangerous!  

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