Well first off , considering the fact that the name of my article last week (week 12 ) was "NFL week 13 WTWF", it seemed only fair that I write an article that ACTUALLY had something to do with week 13.
Anyway the big Monday Night Game is over and so is week 13 so lets have a look at where we all stand shall we. I'll start with the AFC.
The Sunday Night-Monday Night schedule must have made his highness the almighty "Commishioner Goodel" and the powers that be froth at the mouth to say the least. Any time you can have the four best teams in a conference play each other on back to back nights it's a big win for the League. Pittsburgh and Baltimore did what they do (kinda) in a dirty little northern division game between 8-3 teams that both thrive on pissing off the commish with their bone jarring hits. And the East division featured it's top two teams battling it out on Monday night.
The Patriots (9-2) absolutely took the Jets (9-2) apart. It was one of the soundest thrashings I have ever seen. For all the smack the Jets talk, and for all the young guys on the Patriot's team, Tom Brady went 21 of 29 for 326 yards with 4 TD's and no picks. Mark Sanchez threw 3 picks and the Pats went on to win 45-3. WOW !
Now as entertaining as those two games were , in effect it was really only a battle for positioning in the playoffs. All 4 teams are basically already in. The two winners, Pitt and New England moved into 1st place , but the two losers still are clearly the AFC front runners for the wild card spots. What should be more important are the other two divisions and their ramifications.
The Chiefs and Jaguars held serve while the Chargers and Colts both lost to inferior teams. Or so we thought. The Colt's loss to the Cowboys has left them on the brink of missing the playoffs, (as I noted recently) like wise the Charger's loss to the Raiders leaves them 2 games back of the Chiefs. Neither one of these teams can hope to get a wild card spot so both need to find a way to win their respective divisions. It's still do-able for both as the Colts have 3 of their last 4 games versus division opponents (1 vs Jacksonville) and the Chargers have 4 winnable games left.
But let me say this about the AFC West , you may not have noticed but the Oakland Raiders are 4-0 in the division , if they somehow catch the Chiefs , and they would have to beat the Broncos and the Chiefs in December , they would hold all the tie breakers by way of that division record. I'm just saying. Check out the AFC playoff scenario with 4 weeks left.
NE------------10-2
PITT----------9-3
KC------------8-4
JACK----------7-5
JETS----------9-3
BALT----------8-4
COLTS---------6-6
RAID----------6-6
SD------------6-6
MIA-----------6-6
ON TO THE NFC
Truth ? This is getting a little weird. Not only are the Falcons and Bears the 1-2 seeds right now, but it's becoming more and more apparent that a team with a really good record is going to left out of the dance by way of the fact that the winner in the West is guaranteed a spot. Much like the winner of the Big East getting a BCS game by default, someone has to win the West in t he NFC. Here is what I mean.
In the NFC, there are currently 6 teams with 8 or more wins and one with 7. None of them reside in the West. No , I'm afraid that the West is currently deadlocked with two 6-6 teams (STL and SEA) fighting for the backdoor into the playoffs. Not to mention a first round home game.
The top two teams in all four NFC divisions won this week.
Eagles,Giants,Bears,Packers,Falcons,Saints,Rams and Seahawks all won this week by varying degrees. The lone exception on this list of playoff worthy teams in the NFC was Tampa Bay. Who lost to Falcons (no shame there) and are still 7-5. But the sad fact of it all is that someone will win the West and take a spot from a more deserving team. And it IS entirely possible that the winner of the West could finish 7-9. Hell, it's conceivable that it could be 6-10. Mathematically only , but still.
Even without that anomaly somebody would still be left out , but because of the West it will be two good teams watching from home this year. Just look at this madness.
Division winners
ATL-------------10-2
CHI-------------9-3
PHILI-----------8-4
STL-------------6-6
WILD CARDERS
NO--------------9-3
GIA-------------8-4
HOPEFULLS
GB--------------8-4
TB--------------7-5
SEA-------------6-6
Green Bay and Tampa could very well be left out , but considering the schedules of all these teams so could the Bears,Eagles, or the Saints. Actually almost anyone BUT the Falcons is at risk the way the schedule ends up this year in the NFC. I rarely give props to the NFL's schedule makers but look at this stupidity. If you like big games , then you will love how the NFC ends this year.
ATL--------------@ CAR, @ SEA, NO , CAR
CHI--------------NE, @ MINN, JETS, @ GB
PHI--------------@ DAL, @ GIA, MINN, DAL
NO---------------STL, @ BALT, @ ATL, TB
GIA--------------@ MINN, PHI, @ GB, @ WASH
GB---------------@ DET, @ NE, GIA, CHI
TB---------------@ WASH, DET, SEA, @ NO
I mean COME ON ! Every single game will be do-or-die! Any one of these teams (good as they are) could loose 3 of 4 easy. This is gonna be the best December in recent history for the NFC.
I've been hearing the word "parody" used to describe the NFL a lot in recent years,I hate that. I've always called it competition. If you don't like this , then you don't like football. Parody , ya right, it's a league full of studs that creates an environment of winners by small margins. Any team can change it's fortunes in a few short years with the right game plan and a little luck.
Don't believe me Buffalo ? Well consider that the Raiders haven't swept the Chargers since 2001. Look closer at the 5-7 Browns. For heaven's sake just draft a freakin Quarterback for once ! You might find that the forward pass is a good thing.
It's the way it should be folks, if your team stinks, just remember that they are not that far away from going 10-6.
POTENTIALLY.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Friday Night 3 Spot of Strange
Dateline - Toronto , Canada
In yet another clear example of Canadian little brother syndrome towards the United States the bench mark for library slayings has been officially raised.
Twenty Four year old Toronto resident Zhou Fang was charged with First degree murder today in the Thursday afternoon crossbowing of fifty four year old Si Cheng in the Toronto Public Library. The fiction or non-fiction section of the library was not specified. It was however determined that Cheng, despite the different last name, was indeed the assailant's father. About an hour after a nearby school let out for the day it seems that Mr. Fang fatally shot his father (Chang) in the back with a crossbow. Yes I said cross-bow. When Toronto police Constable Tonny Vella was questioned about the incident he had this to say. " The use of a crossbow is definitely a unique case in Toronto."
Indeed sir. The problem of course, beside the the whole - some guy just shot an arrow into his father's back in a crowded library thing - is that it's not entirely true. It's actually the third crossbow-v-human incident in Canada ( THAT WE KNOW OF ) since 1991. Read the full article here.
The second problem is this , crossbows are not banned within city limits in Toronto apparently. In fact the Royal Canadian Mounted Police report that the only crossbows that are banned are those that can be fired with one hand or are less than 19 inches long. That's 50 centimeters for you metric weirdos. Now I'm all for the right to bear arms and all, but if a man can walk into a library with a crossbow and shoot his old man down in cold blood before anyone can react then I'm afraid you need to work on some things Canada.
Dateline - California , USA
After a classified and unmanned 7 month mission to ............ space I guess, the US Air Force's X-37B returned to Earth by way of the Vandenberg Air Force Base. Little is known about the purpose of this craft or it's mission. Also referred as the Orbital Test Vehicle, (nice) the Boeing built spacecraft was originally a project of NASA before being taken over by the military. ( again, nice) The supposed purpose of this craft has been described ( by military yes men ) as nothing more than a test craft working on such innocent things as navigation, control, thermal protection and various other science-like words that mean nothing. If it were me I'd have been looking for the 5th element.
Now I've only been an astronaut like 3 or 4 times , mostly for the Mongolian yak-to-space initiative, but if there is one thing I know about space travel it's this- you can't get anywhere in 7 months except the moon. If that. So what was the real purpose of this mission I ask you ? Were they looking for a suitable hookah lounge for the first Space Elevator ride ? Did some rich celebrity need a refill of "space dust" for the bi weekly Country Music Awards ? Or was it simply the US government reaching out to the Muslim community by wasting taxpayer dollars in space ? Cuz that makes sense.
Personally, I think it was a Victoria's Secret funded program to test the zero gravity effects on the new line of whatever hotness they have devised to replace yesterday's hotness. Remember , just because it was an "unmanned" mission, it doesn't mean that it was under wire free. OR DOES IT ????????
DATELINE - Glasgow , Montana
Any 2012 doomsday people out there? Any end of the world conspiracy theorists? Mayan calender subscribers? It's getting closer and closer you know. Well you may not be a believer but I'm willing to bet that Montana electrician Sean Heavey is starting to think about things. Especially after taking a few outstanding pics like this just West of Glasgow , Montana in July.
In yet another clear example of Canadian little brother syndrome towards the United States the bench mark for library slayings has been officially raised.
Twenty Four year old Toronto resident Zhou Fang was charged with First degree murder today in the Thursday afternoon crossbowing of fifty four year old Si Cheng in the Toronto Public Library. The fiction or non-fiction section of the library was not specified. It was however determined that Cheng, despite the different last name, was indeed the assailant's father. About an hour after a nearby school let out for the day it seems that Mr. Fang fatally shot his father (Chang) in the back with a crossbow. Yes I said cross-bow. When Toronto police Constable Tonny Vella was questioned about the incident he had this to say. " The use of a crossbow is definitely a unique case in Toronto."
Canadians usually fight with these
Indeed sir. The problem of course, beside the the whole - some guy just shot an arrow into his father's back in a crowded library thing - is that it's not entirely true. It's actually the third crossbow-v-human incident in Canada ( THAT WE KNOW OF ) since 1991. Read the full article here.
The second problem is this , crossbows are not banned within city limits in Toronto apparently. In fact the Royal Canadian Mounted Police report that the only crossbows that are banned are those that can be fired with one hand or are less than 19 inches long. That's 50 centimeters for you metric weirdos. Now I'm all for the right to bear arms and all, but if a man can walk into a library with a crossbow and shoot his old man down in cold blood before anyone can react then I'm afraid you need to work on some things Canada.
Dateline - California , USA
After a classified and unmanned 7 month mission to ............ space I guess, the US Air Force's X-37B returned to Earth by way of the Vandenberg Air Force Base. Little is known about the purpose of this craft or it's mission. Also referred as the Orbital Test Vehicle, (nice) the Boeing built spacecraft was originally a project of NASA before being taken over by the military. ( again, nice) The supposed purpose of this craft has been described ( by military yes men ) as nothing more than a test craft working on such innocent things as navigation, control, thermal protection and various other science-like words that mean nothing. If it were me I'd have been looking for the 5th element.
and why the heck not ?
Now I've only been an astronaut like 3 or 4 times , mostly for the Mongolian yak-to-space initiative, but if there is one thing I know about space travel it's this- you can't get anywhere in 7 months except the moon. If that. So what was the real purpose of this mission I ask you ? Were they looking for a suitable hookah lounge for the first Space Elevator ride ? Did some rich celebrity need a refill of "space dust" for the bi weekly Country Music Awards ? Or was it simply the US government reaching out to the Muslim community by wasting taxpayer dollars in space ? Cuz that makes sense.
Personally, I think it was a Victoria's Secret funded program to test the zero gravity effects on the new line of whatever hotness they have devised to replace yesterday's hotness. Remember , just because it was an "unmanned" mission, it doesn't mean that it was under wire free. OR DOES IT ????????
DATELINE - Glasgow , Montana
Any 2012 doomsday people out there? Any end of the world conspiracy theorists? Mayan calender subscribers? It's getting closer and closer you know. Well you may not be a believer but I'm willing to bet that Montana electrician Sean Heavey is starting to think about things. Especially after taking a few outstanding pics like this just West of Glasgow , Montana in July.
did anyone else just shart themselves ?
What the ......? Holy shit-zakie in the sky Batman !!!! Is this for real? The short answer is yes. That photo is actually stitched together from the 3 pics ( 3 PICS ! ) it took for Mr. Heavey to encompass the entirety of this GOD HATES YOU display. The term "Super Cell" doesn't even do this justice. Known as the mother of all tornadoes the Mesocyclone can be up to 6 miles wide and can produce as many as 60 independent tornadoes. If you look really close , you can see all 4 horseman of the apocalypse. Good heavens ( no pun intended ) ( ok , pun intended ) as a former truck driver I've spent many a long hour on the road praying for this kind of sight.
But after seeing this , I'm glad I was asleep at he wheel more often then not. I mean yikes ! That looks dangerous!
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