Wednesday, November 30, 2011Done...But Why?
So the Jacksonville Jaguars fired coach Jack Del Rio today. A move that had seemingly been coming for some time now. Del Rio hasn't had a winning season since 2007 and has only reached the playoffs twice in his eight and a half year stint with the Jags.
I don't think anyone was in any way surprised by the move (yours truly included) but let's have a look at the stats shall we.
Named head coach for the start of the 2003 season Del Rio, a career journeyman linebacker who had his best years statistically towards the end of his career with the Vikings, worked his way to a respectable if not stellar 68-71 regular season record with two playoff seasons in which he went 1-2 with no Superbowl appearances.
Del Rio was widely regarded as being a tough minded, defense first kind of coach. Probably a good thing considering his best quarterbacks in that tenure were Byron Leftwich and David Garrard. Also he looked damn good in a suit.
Now I'm not here to make an argument for or against Mr. Del Rio as a coach. Although truth be told I think the Jags could have done a lot worse. But his firing gets me to thinking about the multitude of coaches in the NFL who have been let go over the years. Either during the season or in the off season. Coaching an NFL team is hard work. Not many succeed. It takes a lot of hard work, a good deal of great players, and some good old fashioned luck.
Lets look at some of the older franchises in the league shall we ?
How about the New York Jets ? They won Superbowl three. They have been to two or three AFC title games and have played in 25 playoff games since 1966. (winning 12) Granted in that time the franchise has a loosing record 357-418-8 but I'm just getting started.
In that time the New York Jets Have had exactly 2, count them 2 , winning head coaches. 'SLANGING' Sammy Baugh went 14-14 but other than that you have only two men since 1960. Bill Parcels, arguably one of the top five coaches in the history of the NFL. (I actually have him at 7 but that's another blog) and the current "RYAN" incarnation. The former went 29-19 with a playoff appearance and the later is 25-15 with a 4-2 record in the playoffs. Neither one even made it to the big show.
Hell even the great WEEB EUBANK, the only coach in Jets history to actually win a Superbowl, or even go, only sported a sub five hundred 71-77-6 record over ten seasons. Seem too easy an argument ? Considering the Jets franchise has a loosing record ? OK how about the Denver Broncos ?
The Broncos have been around since before the merger and have enjoyed some success through the years. Since 1966 they have been to 6 super bowls, winning 2 . Won multiple division titles and enjoyed two long stretches of winning during the DAN REEVES and MIKE SHANNAHAN eras. Between those two coaches the Broncos had 17 winning seasons out of 26 with five 8-8 seasons mixed in.
And yet , again since 1966 , The 8 non-interim coaches were split down the middle. Kind of. 4 coaches with winning records, 3 with loosing records, and perennial nice guy WADE PHILLIPS went 16-16. With his only playoff appearance resulting in a loss.
Lot of good players for the Broncos over the years. More than one hall of famer there. You might say that the players made the coaches in this example and maybe you are right.
The point I'm trying to make is that all bad coaches might not have sucked. Yes WADE PHILLIPS was the coach in between REEVES and SHANNAHAN, but before REEVES chimed in a guy names REED MILLER took the Broncos to a Superbowl, compiled a 40-22 regular season record, was named coach of the year in 77, and was promptly canned after the 1980 season for having his first and only NON winning season. 12-2,10-6,10-6,8-8,........GONE! Boy , don't mess up in Denver !
Does it seem like I'm not supporting my own argument ? OK, how about Dave Wannstedt in Miami ? 41-23 before he started the 2004 season, then 1-8......GONE! Kind of a knee jerk reaction for an organization that couldn't win a Superbowl with DAN freaking MARINO !
Or what about Art Shell's first stint with the Raiders? 44-33 with three playoff appearances ? Damn I hate winning.
The late 80's BUDDY RYAN Eagles ? Three out of five 10 win seasons with a 31-17 record in the last three years alone ? In favor of RICHIE KOTITE ? .................................OK maybe that's a bad example. But here is a good one , on the flip side of the story.
SAM WYCHE.....ya you heard me. 61-66 all time with the Bengals. Five of his eight seasons with the Bengals were 8 wins or less, and one was nine. Yet after the first four years of the Wyche regime totaled a sub par 29-34 record with only one wining season the Brown family decides to stick with him and ....boom 12-4 with a Superbowl appearance. A Superbowl appearance which....by the way, they would have won if Joe Montana hadn't remembered that he had Jerry Rice AND John Taylor in the 4Th quarter.
And if you are STILL not convinced that some NFL coaches just need a little more time .....then I would like you to consider the Pittsburgh Steelers. Consider BILL COWER.
He takes over the team in 1992 and proceeds to have 6 consecutive winning seasons, compiling a 64-32 record that included one Superbowl appearance. He lost that game, but who didn't loose to the Cowboys in the mid 90's ? WHO I ASK YOU ? Those Bills fans in the back know what I mean.
Anyway after the 1997 season the BILL COWER Steelers went 7-9,6-10, and 9-7 without so much as making the playoffs. Most coaches would have been fired twice in that time frame but the Steeler ownership realized that the best quarterback they had was Kordell Stewart and that Bill Cower, despite the last three seasons, knew what he was doing.
In 2001 and 2002 the Bill Cower Steelers rebounded to post a 13-3 and then a 10-5-1 season.
**********************AUTHOR'S NOTE*******************************************
THE FACT THAT THERE WAS A TIE GAME IN 2002 MAKES EVERY MINUTE OF RESEARCH WORTH IT
******************************************************************************
They still didn't win a Superbowl, or even go, but they were back right ? Great decision by the Steelers right?.....WAMMO ! 6-10 IN 2003. Oops, guess the organization should have given him the axe huh? Well, not so fast now. The Steelers AGAIN decide to hold on to Cower despite popular opinion and what happened?
15-1 in 2004, where they lost to the eventual champion Patriots in a GREAT game and then 11-5 in 2005, where they qualified as the 6Th seed in the AFC Playoffs before they decided to get straight up magical and slap the upstart Bengals right out of the dance, squeak out the Peyton Manning Colts in a nail biter, then bash the Jake Plummer Broncos, who had just made the Patriots look human, on the way to a convincing win over the Seahawks in the Superbowl.
By the way they did all that with a 2nd year QB and a running back who couldn't walk down his own staitcase without an injection.
My point of course is this.....it is hard as hell to win a game in the NFL. Always has been. To win a lot of games, or god forbid a title, is damn near impossible.
Did Jack Del Rio deserve to get fired? Ya , probably. But I wonder, if they had stuck with the coach, and somehow found a franchise quarterback in the upcoming draft????.....................Jack Del Rio might have become a hall of fame coach.
Think about it.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Monday, December 6, 2010
NFL thoughts after week # 13
Well first off , considering the fact that the name of my article last week (week 12 ) was "NFL week 13 WTWF", it seemed only fair that I write an article that ACTUALLY had something to do with week 13.
Anyway the big Monday Night Game is over and so is week 13 so lets have a look at where we all stand shall we. I'll start with the AFC.
The Sunday Night-Monday Night schedule must have made his highness the almighty "Commishioner Goodel" and the powers that be froth at the mouth to say the least. Any time you can have the four best teams in a conference play each other on back to back nights it's a big win for the League. Pittsburgh and Baltimore did what they do (kinda) in a dirty little northern division game between 8-3 teams that both thrive on pissing off the commish with their bone jarring hits. And the East division featured it's top two teams battling it out on Monday night.
The Patriots (9-2) absolutely took the Jets (9-2) apart. It was one of the soundest thrashings I have ever seen. For all the smack the Jets talk, and for all the young guys on the Patriot's team, Tom Brady went 21 of 29 for 326 yards with 4 TD's and no picks. Mark Sanchez threw 3 picks and the Pats went on to win 45-3. WOW !
Now as entertaining as those two games were , in effect it was really only a battle for positioning in the playoffs. All 4 teams are basically already in. The two winners, Pitt and New England moved into 1st place , but the two losers still are clearly the AFC front runners for the wild card spots. What should be more important are the other two divisions and their ramifications.
The Chiefs and Jaguars held serve while the Chargers and Colts both lost to inferior teams. Or so we thought. The Colt's loss to the Cowboys has left them on the brink of missing the playoffs, (as I noted recently) like wise the Charger's loss to the Raiders leaves them 2 games back of the Chiefs. Neither one of these teams can hope to get a wild card spot so both need to find a way to win their respective divisions. It's still do-able for both as the Colts have 3 of their last 4 games versus division opponents (1 vs Jacksonville) and the Chargers have 4 winnable games left.
But let me say this about the AFC West , you may not have noticed but the Oakland Raiders are 4-0 in the division , if they somehow catch the Chiefs , and they would have to beat the Broncos and the Chiefs in December , they would hold all the tie breakers by way of that division record. I'm just saying. Check out the AFC playoff scenario with 4 weeks left.
NE------------10-2
PITT----------9-3
KC------------8-4
JACK----------7-5
JETS----------9-3
BALT----------8-4
COLTS---------6-6
RAID----------6-6
SD------------6-6
MIA-----------6-6
ON TO THE NFC
Truth ? This is getting a little weird. Not only are the Falcons and Bears the 1-2 seeds right now, but it's becoming more and more apparent that a team with a really good record is going to left out of the dance by way of the fact that the winner in the West is guaranteed a spot. Much like the winner of the Big East getting a BCS game by default, someone has to win the West in t he NFC. Here is what I mean.
In the NFC, there are currently 6 teams with 8 or more wins and one with 7. None of them reside in the West. No , I'm afraid that the West is currently deadlocked with two 6-6 teams (STL and SEA) fighting for the backdoor into the playoffs. Not to mention a first round home game.
The top two teams in all four NFC divisions won this week.
Eagles,Giants,Bears,Packers,Falcons,Saints,Rams and Seahawks all won this week by varying degrees. The lone exception on this list of playoff worthy teams in the NFC was Tampa Bay. Who lost to Falcons (no shame there) and are still 7-5. But the sad fact of it all is that someone will win the West and take a spot from a more deserving team. And it IS entirely possible that the winner of the West could finish 7-9. Hell, it's conceivable that it could be 6-10. Mathematically only , but still.
Even without that anomaly somebody would still be left out , but because of the West it will be two good teams watching from home this year. Just look at this madness.
Division winners
ATL-------------10-2
CHI-------------9-3
PHILI-----------8-4
STL-------------6-6
WILD CARDERS
NO--------------9-3
GIA-------------8-4
HOPEFULLS
GB--------------8-4
TB--------------7-5
SEA-------------6-6
Green Bay and Tampa could very well be left out , but considering the schedules of all these teams so could the Bears,Eagles, or the Saints. Actually almost anyone BUT the Falcons is at risk the way the schedule ends up this year in the NFC. I rarely give props to the NFL's schedule makers but look at this stupidity. If you like big games , then you will love how the NFC ends this year.
ATL--------------@ CAR, @ SEA, NO , CAR
CHI--------------NE, @ MINN, JETS, @ GB
PHI--------------@ DAL, @ GIA, MINN, DAL
NO---------------STL, @ BALT, @ ATL, TB
GIA--------------@ MINN, PHI, @ GB, @ WASH
GB---------------@ DET, @ NE, GIA, CHI
TB---------------@ WASH, DET, SEA, @ NO
I mean COME ON ! Every single game will be do-or-die! Any one of these teams (good as they are) could loose 3 of 4 easy. This is gonna be the best December in recent history for the NFC.
I've been hearing the word "parody" used to describe the NFL a lot in recent years,I hate that. I've always called it competition. If you don't like this , then you don't like football. Parody , ya right, it's a league full of studs that creates an environment of winners by small margins. Any team can change it's fortunes in a few short years with the right game plan and a little luck.
Don't believe me Buffalo ? Well consider that the Raiders haven't swept the Chargers since 2001. Look closer at the 5-7 Browns. For heaven's sake just draft a freakin Quarterback for once ! You might find that the forward pass is a good thing.
It's the way it should be folks, if your team stinks, just remember that they are not that far away from going 10-6.
POTENTIALLY.
Anyway the big Monday Night Game is over and so is week 13 so lets have a look at where we all stand shall we. I'll start with the AFC.
The Sunday Night-Monday Night schedule must have made his highness the almighty "Commishioner Goodel" and the powers that be froth at the mouth to say the least. Any time you can have the four best teams in a conference play each other on back to back nights it's a big win for the League. Pittsburgh and Baltimore did what they do (kinda) in a dirty little northern division game between 8-3 teams that both thrive on pissing off the commish with their bone jarring hits. And the East division featured it's top two teams battling it out on Monday night.
The Patriots (9-2) absolutely took the Jets (9-2) apart. It was one of the soundest thrashings I have ever seen. For all the smack the Jets talk, and for all the young guys on the Patriot's team, Tom Brady went 21 of 29 for 326 yards with 4 TD's and no picks. Mark Sanchez threw 3 picks and the Pats went on to win 45-3. WOW !
Now as entertaining as those two games were , in effect it was really only a battle for positioning in the playoffs. All 4 teams are basically already in. The two winners, Pitt and New England moved into 1st place , but the two losers still are clearly the AFC front runners for the wild card spots. What should be more important are the other two divisions and their ramifications.
The Chiefs and Jaguars held serve while the Chargers and Colts both lost to inferior teams. Or so we thought. The Colt's loss to the Cowboys has left them on the brink of missing the playoffs, (as I noted recently) like wise the Charger's loss to the Raiders leaves them 2 games back of the Chiefs. Neither one of these teams can hope to get a wild card spot so both need to find a way to win their respective divisions. It's still do-able for both as the Colts have 3 of their last 4 games versus division opponents (1 vs Jacksonville) and the Chargers have 4 winnable games left.
But let me say this about the AFC West , you may not have noticed but the Oakland Raiders are 4-0 in the division , if they somehow catch the Chiefs , and they would have to beat the Broncos and the Chiefs in December , they would hold all the tie breakers by way of that division record. I'm just saying. Check out the AFC playoff scenario with 4 weeks left.
NE------------10-2
PITT----------9-3
KC------------8-4
JACK----------7-5
JETS----------9-3
BALT----------8-4
COLTS---------6-6
RAID----------6-6
SD------------6-6
MIA-----------6-6
ON TO THE NFC
Truth ? This is getting a little weird. Not only are the Falcons and Bears the 1-2 seeds right now, but it's becoming more and more apparent that a team with a really good record is going to left out of the dance by way of the fact that the winner in the West is guaranteed a spot. Much like the winner of the Big East getting a BCS game by default, someone has to win the West in t he NFC. Here is what I mean.
In the NFC, there are currently 6 teams with 8 or more wins and one with 7. None of them reside in the West. No , I'm afraid that the West is currently deadlocked with two 6-6 teams (STL and SEA) fighting for the backdoor into the playoffs. Not to mention a first round home game.
The top two teams in all four NFC divisions won this week.
Eagles,Giants,Bears,Packers,Falcons,Saints,Rams and Seahawks all won this week by varying degrees. The lone exception on this list of playoff worthy teams in the NFC was Tampa Bay. Who lost to Falcons (no shame there) and are still 7-5. But the sad fact of it all is that someone will win the West and take a spot from a more deserving team. And it IS entirely possible that the winner of the West could finish 7-9. Hell, it's conceivable that it could be 6-10. Mathematically only , but still.
Even without that anomaly somebody would still be left out , but because of the West it will be two good teams watching from home this year. Just look at this madness.
Division winners
ATL-------------10-2
CHI-------------9-3
PHILI-----------8-4
STL-------------6-6
WILD CARDERS
NO--------------9-3
GIA-------------8-4
HOPEFULLS
GB--------------8-4
TB--------------7-5
SEA-------------6-6
Green Bay and Tampa could very well be left out , but considering the schedules of all these teams so could the Bears,Eagles, or the Saints. Actually almost anyone BUT the Falcons is at risk the way the schedule ends up this year in the NFC. I rarely give props to the NFL's schedule makers but look at this stupidity. If you like big games , then you will love how the NFC ends this year.
ATL--------------@ CAR, @ SEA, NO , CAR
CHI--------------NE, @ MINN, JETS, @ GB
PHI--------------@ DAL, @ GIA, MINN, DAL
NO---------------STL, @ BALT, @ ATL, TB
GIA--------------@ MINN, PHI, @ GB, @ WASH
GB---------------@ DET, @ NE, GIA, CHI
TB---------------@ WASH, DET, SEA, @ NO
I mean COME ON ! Every single game will be do-or-die! Any one of these teams (good as they are) could loose 3 of 4 easy. This is gonna be the best December in recent history for the NFC.
I've been hearing the word "parody" used to describe the NFL a lot in recent years,I hate that. I've always called it competition. If you don't like this , then you don't like football. Parody , ya right, it's a league full of studs that creates an environment of winners by small margins. Any team can change it's fortunes in a few short years with the right game plan and a little luck.
Don't believe me Buffalo ? Well consider that the Raiders haven't swept the Chargers since 2001. Look closer at the 5-7 Browns. For heaven's sake just draft a freakin Quarterback for once ! You might find that the forward pass is a good thing.
It's the way it should be folks, if your team stinks, just remember that they are not that far away from going 10-6.
POTENTIALLY.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Friday Night 3 Spot of Strange
Dateline - Toronto , Canada
In yet another clear example of Canadian little brother syndrome towards the United States the bench mark for library slayings has been officially raised.
Twenty Four year old Toronto resident Zhou Fang was charged with First degree murder today in the Thursday afternoon crossbowing of fifty four year old Si Cheng in the Toronto Public Library. The fiction or non-fiction section of the library was not specified. It was however determined that Cheng, despite the different last name, was indeed the assailant's father. About an hour after a nearby school let out for the day it seems that Mr. Fang fatally shot his father (Chang) in the back with a crossbow. Yes I said cross-bow. When Toronto police Constable Tonny Vella was questioned about the incident he had this to say. " The use of a crossbow is definitely a unique case in Toronto."
Indeed sir. The problem of course, beside the the whole - some guy just shot an arrow into his father's back in a crowded library thing - is that it's not entirely true. It's actually the third crossbow-v-human incident in Canada ( THAT WE KNOW OF ) since 1991. Read the full article here.
The second problem is this , crossbows are not banned within city limits in Toronto apparently. In fact the Royal Canadian Mounted Police report that the only crossbows that are banned are those that can be fired with one hand or are less than 19 inches long. That's 50 centimeters for you metric weirdos. Now I'm all for the right to bear arms and all, but if a man can walk into a library with a crossbow and shoot his old man down in cold blood before anyone can react then I'm afraid you need to work on some things Canada.
Dateline - California , USA
After a classified and unmanned 7 month mission to ............ space I guess, the US Air Force's X-37B returned to Earth by way of the Vandenberg Air Force Base. Little is known about the purpose of this craft or it's mission. Also referred as the Orbital Test Vehicle, (nice) the Boeing built spacecraft was originally a project of NASA before being taken over by the military. ( again, nice) The supposed purpose of this craft has been described ( by military yes men ) as nothing more than a test craft working on such innocent things as navigation, control, thermal protection and various other science-like words that mean nothing. If it were me I'd have been looking for the 5th element.
Now I've only been an astronaut like 3 or 4 times , mostly for the Mongolian yak-to-space initiative, but if there is one thing I know about space travel it's this- you can't get anywhere in 7 months except the moon. If that. So what was the real purpose of this mission I ask you ? Were they looking for a suitable hookah lounge for the first Space Elevator ride ? Did some rich celebrity need a refill of "space dust" for the bi weekly Country Music Awards ? Or was it simply the US government reaching out to the Muslim community by wasting taxpayer dollars in space ? Cuz that makes sense.
Personally, I think it was a Victoria's Secret funded program to test the zero gravity effects on the new line of whatever hotness they have devised to replace yesterday's hotness. Remember , just because it was an "unmanned" mission, it doesn't mean that it was under wire free. OR DOES IT ????????
DATELINE - Glasgow , Montana
Any 2012 doomsday people out there? Any end of the world conspiracy theorists? Mayan calender subscribers? It's getting closer and closer you know. Well you may not be a believer but I'm willing to bet that Montana electrician Sean Heavey is starting to think about things. Especially after taking a few outstanding pics like this just West of Glasgow , Montana in July.
In yet another clear example of Canadian little brother syndrome towards the United States the bench mark for library slayings has been officially raised.
Twenty Four year old Toronto resident Zhou Fang was charged with First degree murder today in the Thursday afternoon crossbowing of fifty four year old Si Cheng in the Toronto Public Library. The fiction or non-fiction section of the library was not specified. It was however determined that Cheng, despite the different last name, was indeed the assailant's father. About an hour after a nearby school let out for the day it seems that Mr. Fang fatally shot his father (Chang) in the back with a crossbow. Yes I said cross-bow. When Toronto police Constable Tonny Vella was questioned about the incident he had this to say. " The use of a crossbow is definitely a unique case in Toronto."
Canadians usually fight with these
Indeed sir. The problem of course, beside the the whole - some guy just shot an arrow into his father's back in a crowded library thing - is that it's not entirely true. It's actually the third crossbow-v-human incident in Canada ( THAT WE KNOW OF ) since 1991. Read the full article here.
The second problem is this , crossbows are not banned within city limits in Toronto apparently. In fact the Royal Canadian Mounted Police report that the only crossbows that are banned are those that can be fired with one hand or are less than 19 inches long. That's 50 centimeters for you metric weirdos. Now I'm all for the right to bear arms and all, but if a man can walk into a library with a crossbow and shoot his old man down in cold blood before anyone can react then I'm afraid you need to work on some things Canada.
Dateline - California , USA
After a classified and unmanned 7 month mission to ............ space I guess, the US Air Force's X-37B returned to Earth by way of the Vandenberg Air Force Base. Little is known about the purpose of this craft or it's mission. Also referred as the Orbital Test Vehicle, (nice) the Boeing built spacecraft was originally a project of NASA before being taken over by the military. ( again, nice) The supposed purpose of this craft has been described ( by military yes men ) as nothing more than a test craft working on such innocent things as navigation, control, thermal protection and various other science-like words that mean nothing. If it were me I'd have been looking for the 5th element.
and why the heck not ?
Now I've only been an astronaut like 3 or 4 times , mostly for the Mongolian yak-to-space initiative, but if there is one thing I know about space travel it's this- you can't get anywhere in 7 months except the moon. If that. So what was the real purpose of this mission I ask you ? Were they looking for a suitable hookah lounge for the first Space Elevator ride ? Did some rich celebrity need a refill of "space dust" for the bi weekly Country Music Awards ? Or was it simply the US government reaching out to the Muslim community by wasting taxpayer dollars in space ? Cuz that makes sense.
Personally, I think it was a Victoria's Secret funded program to test the zero gravity effects on the new line of whatever hotness they have devised to replace yesterday's hotness. Remember , just because it was an "unmanned" mission, it doesn't mean that it was under wire free. OR DOES IT ????????
DATELINE - Glasgow , Montana
Any 2012 doomsday people out there? Any end of the world conspiracy theorists? Mayan calender subscribers? It's getting closer and closer you know. Well you may not be a believer but I'm willing to bet that Montana electrician Sean Heavey is starting to think about things. Especially after taking a few outstanding pics like this just West of Glasgow , Montana in July.
did anyone else just shart themselves ?
What the ......? Holy shit-zakie in the sky Batman !!!! Is this for real? The short answer is yes. That photo is actually stitched together from the 3 pics ( 3 PICS ! ) it took for Mr. Heavey to encompass the entirety of this GOD HATES YOU display. The term "Super Cell" doesn't even do this justice. Known as the mother of all tornadoes the Mesocyclone can be up to 6 miles wide and can produce as many as 60 independent tornadoes. If you look really close , you can see all 4 horseman of the apocalypse. Good heavens ( no pun intended ) ( ok , pun intended ) as a former truck driver I've spent many a long hour on the road praying for this kind of sight.
But after seeing this , I'm glad I was asleep at he wheel more often then not. I mean yikes ! That looks dangerous!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Black Friday...Day of the Dingus
BLACK FRIDAY ! dun , dun , dun ...... It's come and gone again, the day when normal minded people loose all sensibility and camp out in alleyways to be the first in a long line of morons.
First of all, anyone in retail will tell you that Black Friday ( while huge ) is not the biggest day of the year in sales. In fact it's not even in the top three for most establishments. No , the three biggest days in retail are actually Christmas Eve, the day before and the day before that.. If Christmas day happens to fall on a Sunday then it's a lock. Sure the big companies put out some big sales on Black Friday but it's all a sham. A sham that apparently runs like clockwork every single year.
If you own a retail store ( especially in a mall ) then you know what is going on. You just wrote a check that is sure to bounce unless you can blow through a shit load of product between Black Friday and Christmas Eve. You've waited all year to do this. Ten and a half months of breaking even at best has left you suicidal and praying that the American economy bounces back this year. You already know that you will make 30 to 50 percent of your yearly sales in the 5 "big weeks" leading up to Christmas. You are trying to maximise your sales potential and you've bought way to much inventory. If you planed your deliveries right then you have it all in your shop right around November 10th.
Now you wait, and stress. Faced with bills that exceed your mental capability to rationalize you take stock of your ...............stock. You've got way to much , if you don't sell a certain portion of it your screwed. Big bills, no money , and way too much inventory. A company can not profit in this way. What's the answer ? Black Friday .
Put it on sale ! Drop the price ! I'll make up my margin by selling more units !
It's actually a good little plan. Why ? Because you know that the American consumer is a highly stressed out individual who is desperate to give you their hard earned money. You KNOW that every American is so brainwashed to the giving side of the holidays that they will break the bank for Christmas even if the bank has already broken them.
You KNOW that the majority of the people that come in to your store are on the verge of destitution. You KNOW that most people will fore go bills,braces for the kids,car payments,house payments,liens,court fees, and just about any other form of debt so long as they can produce a "good" Christmas for their loved ones. Americans will do anything and everything to that end. Hell , even people who have no money at all will open credit cards with the sole desire to succeed at the holidays.
I don't blame you store owner, if there is money to be made then go make it. It's not your fault that the American public is so brainwashed that they can't help but to freak out during the holidays. So much so that they don't mind stepping on a fellow human to arrive at the Target sale 5 seconds earlier than the next guy.
http://www.wivb.com/dpp/news/buffalo/Crazed-shoppers-pile-up-at-Target
I also don't blame those of you who enjoy Black Friday ( or any other sale ) correctly. Hell , I remember the Kmart special. I remember hanging with Moms and Aunt Patty at Kmart till all hours of the night just so they could get the midnight specials on gifts. Not to mention the once a year joy of all 3 of us kids sleeping the night away, worn out from 6 hours of isle 7 hockey. Complete with plastic bats and the plastic fruits from the 3 dollar door wreaths.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit a piece of plastic the size of a marble with a stolen wiffle ball bat ? It's hard yo !
So for those of you who don't freak out about your place in line and just go shopping , I salute you. At least you didn't end up like this.
Packing heat I mean.
or like this ..................
First of all, anyone in retail will tell you that Black Friday ( while huge ) is not the biggest day of the year in sales. In fact it's not even in the top three for most establishments. No , the three biggest days in retail are actually Christmas Eve, the day before and the day before that.. If Christmas day happens to fall on a Sunday then it's a lock. Sure the big companies put out some big sales on Black Friday but it's all a sham. A sham that apparently runs like clockwork every single year.
If you own a retail store ( especially in a mall ) then you know what is going on. You just wrote a check that is sure to bounce unless you can blow through a shit load of product between Black Friday and Christmas Eve. You've waited all year to do this. Ten and a half months of breaking even at best has left you suicidal and praying that the American economy bounces back this year. You already know that you will make 30 to 50 percent of your yearly sales in the 5 "big weeks" leading up to Christmas. You are trying to maximise your sales potential and you've bought way to much inventory. If you planed your deliveries right then you have it all in your shop right around November 10th.
Now you wait, and stress. Faced with bills that exceed your mental capability to rationalize you take stock of your ...............stock. You've got way to much , if you don't sell a certain portion of it your screwed. Big bills, no money , and way too much inventory. A company can not profit in this way. What's the answer ? Black Friday .
Put it on sale ! Drop the price ! I'll make up my margin by selling more units !
It's actually a good little plan. Why ? Because you know that the American consumer is a highly stressed out individual who is desperate to give you their hard earned money. You KNOW that every American is so brainwashed to the giving side of the holidays that they will break the bank for Christmas even if the bank has already broken them.
You KNOW that the majority of the people that come in to your store are on the verge of destitution. You KNOW that most people will fore go bills,braces for the kids,car payments,house payments,liens,court fees, and just about any other form of debt so long as they can produce a "good" Christmas for their loved ones. Americans will do anything and everything to that end. Hell , even people who have no money at all will open credit cards with the sole desire to succeed at the holidays.
I don't blame you store owner, if there is money to be made then go make it. It's not your fault that the American public is so brainwashed that they can't help but to freak out during the holidays. So much so that they don't mind stepping on a fellow human to arrive at the Target sale 5 seconds earlier than the next guy.
http://www.wivb.com/dpp/news/buffalo/Crazed-shoppers-pile-up-at-Target
I also don't blame those of you who enjoy Black Friday ( or any other sale ) correctly. Hell , I remember the Kmart special. I remember hanging with Moms and Aunt Patty at Kmart till all hours of the night just so they could get the midnight specials on gifts. Not to mention the once a year joy of all 3 of us kids sleeping the night away, worn out from 6 hours of isle 7 hockey. Complete with plastic bats and the plastic fruits from the 3 dollar door wreaths.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit a piece of plastic the size of a marble with a stolen wiffle ball bat ? It's hard yo !
So for those of you who don't freak out about your place in line and just go shopping , I salute you. At least you didn't end up like this.
Packing heat I mean.
or like this ..................
OMG i hope the cart is waiting !
Now don't get me wrong people. I love Christmas, I always have. I love the giving , the receiving, the bows , and most importantly the fact that it brings families together. When a child who still believes in Santa first sees the stash under the tree it's magical. It's the best thing on earth. But I'm afraid that that phenomenon has been destroyed by the multitude who feel the need to keep up with the Kardashians.
Need proof ? Here ya go .
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